The Bride is the Hostess

Planning a wedding requires attention, thought and well, planning.  There are a million little details that need to come together on one day. Of course, murphey's law will probably tell you differently, but that's a post for another day.  Every bride wants one thing from her wedding day: for her guests to have the best time of their lives and remember her wedding.  Okay, maybe that wish isn't number 1 but it's definitely in the top 5.  Some times planning a fun, memorable wedding means planning from the point of view from the guest.  Remember, while this is your big day, you're throwing a party and that means keeping your guest in the forefront of your mind during the planning.  So, how do you plan a party for your guests?  Easy!  Remember you're the hostess!  Read on for more information.

1.) Attend to your guests most basic needs:

Drink: Keep the bar stocked, free, and open.  The End.

Food: To please your guests tummies, cater a 'normal' person.  Don't limit your hors d'oeuvres and menu to specialty foods like smoked eel tartare, no matter how much you love it.  Make sure you have options for all guests, from meat lovers to vegetarians.  You should serve the 'out there' foods during cocktail hour.

Privacy: When visiting potential venue sites, always check the bathrooms.  If you're renting portable restrooms because your event is outdoors, spring for an 'upscale' model.  Your guests will thank you.

Family Needs: It's my personal opinion that weddings are really not a place for children.  But, that's just me. So if you are planning on inviting children make sure you plan to keep them entertained and out of the way.  Make a little goodie bag with crayons, scrap paper, stickers, etc. so that bored kids can entertain themselves.  For older guests, make sure you have seating available during cocktail hour and there are places to sit away from loud music.  It may be a good idea to schedule the traditional wedding events - first dance, cake-cutting, etc.- early on in the reception.

Safety:  Along with the open bar, you should also be a curtious hostess and arrange for late night transportation so that everyone gets home safely.  Don't worry you're not responsible for dropping off everyone!  Arrange for the transportation to go back to a central location, like a hotel.  If you're having an outdoor ceremony and reception, plan accordingly.  For a hot day - provide fans, non-metal chairs plenty of shade and sun screen, a rainy day - umbrellas and dry areas for guests, like a tent, or a cold night - think about using shawls as favors for guests to bundle up and use space heaters if no indoor spaces are available.

2.) Really want your guests to love you?:

Social inclusion: Don't force your guests into awkward, high-school like situations.  Avoid this by skipping the escort cards and seat charts.  This will also save you money and time.  Not to mention headaches!

Attention: Make your out-of-town guests feel appreciated with a simple welcome note.  If there's room in the budget, include a welcome bag with things like a map, water, snacks, and a list of local restuarants and activities.

Activity:  If there will be a long gap between the ceremony and reception, you'll lose the attention of your guests.  To avoid this, plan some activities to fill the down time, such as a cocktail hour. 

Respect: Guests don't like to wait, especially when they're hungry.  By the time the reception comes along, it's usually way past dinner time, depending on the time of your ceremony.  Nevertheless, it's very important to allow guests to eat.  By pass the sit down dinner and open up the buffet!  By allowing guests to graze and eat as they want, you will not have long lines.  Also, you should have waiters passing appetizers and drinks to cut down on the line.  I can't stress how important this is.  Feed your guests well and they'll have the night of their life.

Entertainment:  Trust your band or DJ to read a crowd and get your guests moving.  Chosing a reliable, experienced band or DJ is key to fun reception.  And, never ever shut down a full dance floor - even if it means post-poning wedding activities like cake-cutting or bouquet toss.  I suggest couples do the toasts the night before at the rehearsal dinner.  That way there is less nerves on edge for the speakers and they can be more intimate.  It also doesn't cut time away from your reception!  If you must do speeches during the reception, limit the amount of speakers and ask them to keep their speech to 5 minutes or less.

3.) Want to go over the top?:

Security: Assume every one of your guests has lost your invitation and has no idea where anything is.  Provide them with direction cards as they check-in to the hotel or arrive at the ceremony.  If you have room in the budget, charter a bus for ceremony-to-reception transfers.  Remember, if you're planning for your guests, assume no one knows where they are.  That means selecting a reception venue close to and easy to find from the ceremony site.

Lodging: Out-of-town guests need a convenient and affordable place to stay, so you should reserve a discounted block of rooms on their behalf.  Suggest at least three hotels in different price ranges and advertise them on your wedding website.  When talking to hotels, make sure they do not have an attrition clause.  If you block off rooms at a hotel with an attrition clause then you are responsible for rooms that have not been booked.

Clothing: It's helpful to suggest to guests what wear to your wedding, as long as you keep it general like 'black tie' or 'cocktail attire'.  Don't ask your guest to sacrifice too much by demanding they dress entirely in pink, or requesting they adhere to an off-the-wall theme like "Jersey-chic Glam".  You want to make sure your guests are comfortable both physically and financially.